Merry Christmas from Dutch and Gaby

Love Personified

We have been given many gifts this past year. God has graciously granted us another year with each other and although we have had many experiences with doctors and hospitals, Dutch is still with us. The economy is very bad for us as it might be for some of you. Our dreams of passing our store on to someone else don’t seem to be coming true and we must close the curtain on what was and is a great experience. The kids are happy in their new surroundings and although they, too have experienced some bumps in the road, we are all rejoicing because we know that we are in the Hands of God. When the storms rage in our lives, God seems to reach down and say: “Peace! Be still!”

As I sit here writing this letter, a storm is raging outside of our walls. The rain is pouring down and the wind is howling.
I thank God for the protection of the walls around me, knowing that many at this time do not have such protection.
I thank God for warmth, knowing that many are cold at this very moment.
I thank God for food, knowing that we have abused it and that so many multitudes are hungry.
I thank God for family and friends, knowing that many souls are lonely and without support.
But mostly, I thank God for Jesus, who truly is love personified. When God created everything, He also created us in the image of Himself. He didn’t create us as slaves, but with a free will so that we might choose to love Him. We all have fallen short of that goal and this sin now separates us from His love. But God didn’t stop there. To show His love to us again, He came to redeem us and bridge the gap between Himself and us. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16) He took the punishment we deserve on Himself because the debt is more than anyone could pay.
And we have the choice to accept this, the greatest Christmas Gift……. or not.
May the Prince of Peace reign in your heart this Christmas!
With much love,
Duane and Gaby Monson
http://sayhitojesusforme.blogspot.com/

Luke:1- 46And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord
47and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 48for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, 49for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. 50His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.

Walking that fine line

We had just pulled out of the parking lot of the hospital when Dutch announced that he had pain in his chest. I asked if he wanted me to turn around and of course he said no. I kept asking him how he was feeling and after a while he said the pain had gone away. We decided that it must have been from pulling himself up on the seat of our SUV. So having the nurses discharge instructions still in my ear, that he should not do anything strenuous, I now worried about him walking up the stairs to our bedroom that night. I had been planning to put one of the beds from upstairs into our little downstairs office, so when he can't walk the stairs, he would have a place to sleep. Dutch has been strongly opposed to that because he wants to be in his own bed.

In our 41 years of marriage we have followed God's admonition that the husband leads and the wife follows. Some people think this to be degrading, but it's not. We are partners. The buck stops with the husband, that's all. When we got home from the hospital, I put out an urgent call for help getting the bed downstairs. That did not go over well with Dutch! Help came it seems within minutes and the bed was downstairs! (Thanks, Mike for doing it, thanks Henry and the others for offering). Dutch was NOT happy and our evening did not end well. But the bed is downstairs and ready for his use whenever he might need it.

After my own little pity party I again realized how difficult it is for Dutch to be loosing more and more control over his body and his environment. He shared with me again today how he can't understand why all of this is happening to him when he is so young. (Only 73 years old!!!) He is just so tired of always having me hover over him and at the same time he's so thankful that I do. There are so many conflicting emotions.

Today I worried that he was getting congested. Pneumonia could kill him. A cold could turn into that. YIKES!! At the hospital they were wondering if he had had his flu shot of course, (yes) and if he had had a pneumocokia (sp???) shot against pneumonia. I had no idea. He thinks that he did have one three years ago at a grocery store. After several calls to different places, I still could not verify that this was true. The nurses told me that he should have the shot, but not if he had it within the last 5 years. So we were in between: he should really have it to protect him and he should not have it because it could be dangerous for him given his situation. God please give us wisdom!!! Bottom line is he didn't get it. Probably good, given his sniffles today.

Called the doctor's office and told them about his congestion. They wanted a chest x-ray. Just got the word that it was negative..... as I hear him coughing upstairs.

Never a dull moment, but through it all we know that God is watching over us. Isn't that just the greatest???

Another Angiogram

About three months ago, Dutch had 3 stents placed in the arteries of his heart. Last Monday he had to go back and have another Angiogram to check on the status of the stents. Because of his liver disease he is prone to bleeding. Because of this the cardiologists can't follow the normal protocol of blood thinners to keep scarring of the stents at bay.

We didn't approach this procedure with much apprehension because he had been through it before and knew what to expect. What happened last time was that they used a drill bit to clear out plaque to open the artery because he can't have open heart surgery. After the procedure, I was ushered down a long hallway into a small waiting room and told to wait here for the doctor. Well I sat in the regular waiting room and I saw plenty of doctors come out and talk to families and give them whatever news there was to give, right there in front of everyone. Here I was, being ushered into this secluded private little room and I thought: oh no! this can't be good!!! I waited there for what seemed to be forever and went through all of the emotional ups and downs, trying to prepare myself for the bad news I knew was coming. All of a sudden the doctor bounced in, all smiles and gave me GOOD news. I was so prepared for bad news that the good news almost seemed harder to take.

So on Monday, again I was ushered into this little waiting room. This time though, I was not going to assume the worst! Another family joined me to wait for their report. The doctor bounced in and reported on Dutch and then I stepped outside to give the other family some privacy. When they came to get me so I could go up to the room with Dutch I was just outside the door and missed them!! All these little details add to the emotional stress that is already going on and kind of gets your head spinning.

The doctor reported that they had, indeed, found scarring on the stents and had to use balloons to open the arteries again. Dutch later reported that this was painful and felt to him like he was having a heart attack. He knows that we have to do this again in three months and told me this morning that he was now a bit scared to have it done. No fun!! The doctors chose

not to repair the third artery which still has blockage because to do so would require blood thinners, which at this time would not be good for him to have.

When I caught up with Dutch in the ICU this is what I found. They had placed a towel over his eyes to shield him from the bright lights. He was on nitroglycerin for the pain in his chest. They told me that this would give him a headache. Turns out it also made his blood pressure go extremely low. The nurses came running and they called the doc on duty, but it all got better when they lowered the nitro, gave him a shot for pain and gave him some potassium. Just a little more excitement.

I always stay with Dutch 24/7 when he is in the hospital. I love doing it and there is no amount of nursing care that can respond to all his requests for more blankets, urinals and whatever else. Besides, he was HUNGRY!! Of course a chair, even a semi-recliner is no place to spend the night, so the next day found me pretty cross eyed!

Long story short, he was discharged around 2 the next day and we both looked forward to getting home into our own beds!

Self Image

Have you ever tried to take a picture of yourself? Here is the one I took of us while we were out for a little walk. My arms just aren't long enough and my chin is never in the right place. And if I try to smile..... well you can just forget it! I was called back to have my driver's licence picture retaken one day. I asked why it had to be retaken and was told that my eyes were closed. I lined up and assumed the pose and they said: "SMILE!!" I told them right away that they had a choice: I could smile or I could open my eyes. I can't do both!

It's a good thing we have a good self image. You do have to live up to certain standards so they don't call you a bum, but I have to admit that all the trappings of fashion don't do much for me. I know that Jesus loves me and that's good enough for me.