Don't Forget Me

Yesterday Dutch told the neighbors that he feels that the doctors have given up on him. He worries when he doesn't have much of an appetite because he remembers that his father stopped eating before he died.

When we were caring for our mother, my siblings and I often joked that her wish to die could not be fulfilled while she still felt the need to control her surroundings. She had to have certain foods, certain cups for her coffee and a certain little glass for the two drops of red wine she drank each day. As time passed, the "things of earth grew strangely dim" and the part of her horizon that we could see diminished as her inward gaze expanded to new vistas.

Dutch is going through this same transition. The things in his world are growing strangely dim as he looks more and more at the glory and grace of his Lord Jesus. Countless times a day he tells me how much he loves me and how much he loves Jesus and how blessed he is. Things that would normally get him all involved don't mean much anymore.

Last night he went to bed early totally exhausted after a long day. I had a few more things to tend to before I could join him after midnight. When I came to bed he was awake and told me that he just now was able to get warm under the covers. He declined my offer of more blankets. A little after one he was sitting on the side of the bed and told me that he thought he should take his clothes off because he was so warm. (no, no temp) "Why don't you leave them on and we can just not cover you up so much" ... OK. Around two he decided that he should have some of the little cookies we brought home from the German store earlier that day. "That wouldn't be so good, should we have something else instead?" I said? So he decided on an orange, a banana and I added some walnuts and some of his medication. When I came back upstairs with his plate, he was sitting in his chair, singing a song. How wonderful to find your husband singing in the middle of the night EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!!!!!

So now it's 8 PM and we haven't had dinner yet. He is sleeping so you know he won't be ready for bed at the "usual" time......

Today was a beautiful, warm day. Yesterday the doctor told us to have him sit in the sun to help his groin heal. So I made him a bed outside and we sat and talked a little while his wound was sunbathing. I was wishing that I had a camcorder so I could commit these precious moments to permanent memory.....

I'm hearing: I love you!! from the other room. He's awake. Time to have dinner.

How blessed am I

Psalm 121 (New International Version)
Psalm 121
A song of ascents. 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.