Stent # 4

So I'm wondering why I write this blog and if I should write all the things down that we go through. From past experiences, I know that it helps to write things down because that is like having someone to talk to. But this publicly? As you know from this blog, I wrote a book about our son Todd's battle with cancer. What I didn't write about, was our son John's battle with weight and how Dutch was at his side when he died, and many other things. My brother and I and others chronicled the time we spent with our mother when she prepared for her departure.

Then there is always that hope that our experiences might inspire someone else to something and especially to faith. Our faith is in Jesus.

We are now about a year and a half past the time that Dutch was diagnosed with end stage liver disease and who knows how long he has had it before it was diagnosed. As the doctors tell me, they really don't know how long we have. It could be a prolonged process or complications could set in and it could end today. We all live that way but most of us don't know it. We are blessed to be very conscious that our days are numbered and thus count each day as a blessing and hope to live it in a way that is pleasing to God. Of course we certainly fall way short of that, but the desire is there.

Along the way, besides all of the liver issues, we have found that Dutch had heart issues as well and those are being addressed as good as possible. For the most part, the baby has fallen into the well and it's kind of late to cover the well- if you know what I mean. The doctors and I agree that we concentrate on nagging him about issues that effect his immediate well being and back off on the ones that won't make a difference now, although they would have in the past.

So here begins the point of this post: Dutch was scheduleded for a follow-up angiogram to check on the condition of the 3 stents that were placed a few months ago. Because of his liver condition, uncoated stents were used. Coated ones are too dangerous because they require more blood thinners. His liver condition makes him bleed and adding blood thinners just makes that worse. His last follow-up showed that some of the stents were beginning to clog again and balloons were used to open them up. This procedure found that the old stents were working fine but a new blockage was found and another stent placed. Enter the blood thinners.....

A beaming doctor told me how well things went and how happy he was with the performance of the previous stents. When Dutch was transferred into his bed in ICU, the nurses found that the entry point into the artery was bleeding again and applied immediate pressure. I was asked to leave and when I returned they had placed some device on his groin to apply this pressure. Because of being overweight, it was more difficult to get "down" to the point of bleeding. The pressure that this device applies can be adjusted and they cranked it up a long ways. The wound was checked in short intervals to look for bleeding and pressure was adjusted as they thought necessary. This picture looks like it is showing something else, but isn't. It shows the wound through the "eye" of the device. At first Dutch said it didn't hurt (it HAD to- given the amount of pressure) but then suddenly he was in SEVERE pain! Having to lay for hours without moving his leg and having all that pressure applied took it's toll. He was so agitated that the meds could not take hold. I held on to his leg to keep him from moving it, held his hand so he could squeeze it, two nurses did what they could and it was intense! He screamed and begged for us to take the device off and even the threat of bleeding out sounded better to him than the pain he was in. He complained especially of pain on the right side of his back which posed the question of bleeding into his back. Bloodtest looking for extensive blood loss fortunately turned out negative.

I always stay with him around the clock when he is in the hospital and this was a great example as to why. If I had gone home all of this would have transpired in my absence. The doctor came and eventually they were able to reduce some pressure and the meds took hold and things quieted down. I was quite upset with the doctor and told him that I really didn't want Dutch to have any more blood thinners if this was the consequence. I told him that I didn't care if this new stent did fail. A heart attack would be certain, was the answer. So who's to know the better of two "evils"?

During a lull in the "action" I texted and asked for immediate prayer. I knew that I needed someone besides myself to be holding us up right then. Norma wrote back immediately with scripture verses that helped me focus and calmed me down. I prayed for faith and love and peace and hope-- not just for today but for eternity. We trust in an eternity with God and look for the things on earth to grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

Morning came and the device came off and Dutch sat up in a chair and went for a walk around the halls and amidst assurances that the bleeding had stopped we were sent home.

We're both resting a lot and enjoying the fact that we are retired without a schedule. Issues about trying to sell the business flare up into heated discussions and die down again, temporarily put aside in the hope and trust that it will all work out. Dutch worries about how I will be taken care of if something happens to him and I get sick.....

So now it's time to re-stock the overnight bags for the hospital, make sure all the records are up to date, make follow-up doctor's appointments,

figure out how I can hold pressure on a wound and call 911 and unlock the doors all at once, should the need arise, and trust God!